There is an inside joke among coaching professionals:
“After the second session, every coaching is life coaching.”
In coaching, we work with the person, not just the problem. Whether it’s career, executive or leadership coaching, effective coaching addresses the individual as a whole. It is not just about solving the immediate challenges but it is a process of learning and growth for the client as a person. In this sense, every good coach is a life coach.
A coach goes beyond solving the problems, but facilitates the process of personal growth in the client that transforms their reality and helps the client reach goals and dreams that were previously not within their reach or the realm of possibility.
Who is a Life Coach?
A life coach is a professional trained in foundational coaching skills, often complemented by expertise in a specific area. While niche expertise (e.g., relationships, productivity, grief, nutrition, etc) can enhance their practice, the ability to coach effectively is grounded in their mastery of core coaching principles.
With the right coaching skills, a life coach can help clients navigate present and forward-looking situations across diverse areas of life. Some life coaches specialise in specific niches, such as relationships, parenting, ADHD, nutrition, or grief. But the essence of their work remains the same: empowering clients to bridge the gap between where they are and where they want to be.
Imagine you are standing on the bank of a river, looking across to the other side. A life coach is like a bridge, helping you cross over to reach your destination.
What does a Life Coach Do?
A life coach partners with clients in a co-creative process to help them achieve their goals. At the heart of this partnership are three key responsibilities of a coach:
- Offering a safe space for exploration
- Identifying meaningful goals
- Facilitating client growth
Let’s explore these key responsibilities in detail.
1. Offering a safe space for exploration
When I accept myself as I am, then I can change.
– Carl Rogers
This quote captures the essence of what sets coaching apart from conversations with friends or family. A coach creates a non-judgemental space filled with curiosity and unconditional positive regard for a client. Unlike loved ones, who might have preconceived notions or emotional investments in the outcome, a coach remains neutral. Everything the coach does in a session is in the service of the client. That is their only agenda and they allow the client to steer both the conversation and outcomes.
In a safe space, clients are able to freely explore their underlying beliefs, emotions and conflicts without fear of judgement. The coach acts as a container, creating and holding space for the client’s self-discovery.
This is one of the most challenging aspects of the coaching process. The coach will not judge whatever is coming up for the client in this process. The role of the coach is to help the client come face to face with themselves with authenticity, bravery and compassion. This is the foundation in which the transformation of the client is built in a coaching relationship.
2. Identifying Meaningful Goals
A goal without a plan is just a wish.
– Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
Setting and working towards goals is what distinguishes coaching from mentoring and even therapy. At the start of a coaching engagement, the coach and client co-create an overarching goal for their sessions. Each session begins by identifying a specific focus or goal, ensuring that the conversation remains aligned with the client’s broader aspirations. The goal setting in each session is both an art and science that is a key part of a coach’s training.
Goals in coaching are not just about ambitious targets like setting Big Hairy Audacious Goals (BHAGs). They also involve breaking down these ambitions into manageable steps and addressing them systematically. Some goals are not BHAGs, but instead working towards something that will improve the quality of their life significantly: setting new habits, minimising screen time, improving productivity, increasing concentration, planning and executing better.
For example, let’s say a client wants to establish a fitness routine, which has been set as the overarching goal for three sessions. In the first session, the coach might explore what a fitness routine is, what makes it important for a client, why is it meaningful, what would it change for the client if they got a routine in place, what would a fitness routine look like, and what obstacles – internal and external – stand in the way.
Through this process, the client gains deeper insights and is guided to translate these insights into actionable steps that help them to get started and build momentum towards their overall goal.
3. Facilitating Client Growth
The only journey is the one within.
– Rainer Maria Rilke
The heart of coaching lies in helping clients grow through self-discovery, insight and action.
During the coaching process, the client develops a clearer understanding of themselves or a situation. This awareness leads to personal insights, which the coach helps the client integrate into their life. A coach evokes awareness through their presence, questions and reflections. This helps the client explore obstacles, uncover strengths and deepen self-reflection. This learning process empowers the client to make meaningful progress toward their goals.
After gaining a new insight in a session, the client and coach work together to design actionable next steps. The coach also facilitates discussions around accountability, potential barriers and resources needed to ensure sustainable progress. The integration of learning is a critical aspect of the coaching process. The most impactful growth occurs when clients discover insights for themselves, rather than relying on the coach to provide advice or solutions.
Does A Life Coach Offer Advice?
– Samuel Johnson
Coaching, as a profession, is an advice-free zone.
Coaches who are trained and credentialed by one of the internationally recognized coaching bodies typically do not offer advice.
The higher the skill and the maturity of the coach, the less likely they are to offer advice. It is typically the coaches who are beginning their coaching journey, who in order to make sure the client “gets some value” offer advice and strategies.
If the client is looking only for strategies, advice or tips, then AI tools (like ChatGPT, Perplexity, Claude, etc) do a great job now. They also do a fantastic job of simulating conversations that acknowledge emotions and offer comforting words with the user.
The real role of a coach is to provide that human connection. The way the coach brings their own presence, safety, grounding, openness, curiosity and empathy in the sessions, triggers mirror neurons for the client.
The client’s brain picks up the coach’s presence and triggers mirror neurons, which offers the client space for emotional regulation. The coach picks up cues, language nuances, body language and what is unsaid, and plays it back as observations to the client. This helps the client to go deeper into their self-discovery process. This opens up their blind spots, and they are able to see more of themselves. This clarity helps them to go beyond their current level of thinking and come up with solutions in a completely different context.
“You cannot solve a problem with the same mind that created it.” – Albert Einstein
Coaching is about creating a different mind to solve a problem, achieve a goal, move through obstacles and create a new reality. No amount of information, knowledge, strategies or tips provided by AIs or books or gurus can shift this level of reality for a person.
Only presence, acceptance and curiosity provided in the safe space of a connection with another human being can facilitate this change. This is what coaching is about. It is more than just asking questions, it aims to create a transformational shift in the reality of the client.
Summary
In summary a life coach empowers clients to achieve goals, navigate challenges, discover insights and grow as individuals. They do so by offering a safe space, helping define broad and specific goals that are meaningful and fostering personal growth for the clients. They help the client uncover blindspots in their perspectives and in how they see themselves.
Using this, the coach is able to invite the client to level up their thinking and create a new reality for themselves. A reality that is more true to their aspirations, potential and dreams. A coach becomes the bridge that connects where the client is today to where they aspire to be.
It has been gratifying for me to watch my clients go through a transformational journey in their inner reality. Once they change their inner reality, they find that their outer reality also arranges itself according to their wishes. I’ve had the opportunity to witness dream jobs, new ventures, promotions and satisfaction come into the lives of my clients. Many of them are now able to wake up to a new reality that they thought was not possible for them.
It brings my heart so much joy to watch them transform their reality like a magician. As the Hermetic Principle says, “As above, so below.” Our outer reality often mirrors our inner reality, but most of us try to change the outer circumstances without working with our inner reality.
The process of coaching is about seeing and accepting the inner reality fully for what it is right now. And then to begin the transformation to the reality that you want to create and to set oneself firmly on the path to achieve that reality in the outside world.
