Hello, it’s Siri. Welcome to my weekly newsletter on managing your energy, time and head space for work that matters to you. I am an ICF Certified Coach, with more than 450 hours of client coaching. My coaching sessions are “advice-free zones” unless the client specifically asks for advice. So I offer my best insights, reflections, advice here, in this newsletter which is published every Sunday.
In this edition, we’ll continue exploring GRACE, a reflective framework for work and life.
“Reflection is the bridge between misunderstanding and connection in relationships.”
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Investing in Relationships
Relationships require time and energy to grow and sustain. Whether in our personal lives or at work, the quality of our relationships is a powerful indicator of our well-being. When conflicts or turbulence arise in significant relationships, our sense of balance and well-being often goes for a toss.
I’ve struggled to focus after an argument with a loved one. Similarly, after a difficult meeting with a co-worker, manager or client, there have been times I’ve needed to step away for a few hours to regain composure and balance. The quality of our relationships profoundly impacts our productivity, wellness, focus and overall satisfaction.
Healthy relationships thrive on mutual giving and receiving. Without a balance, even the closest bonds can struggle to survive, let alone thrive. But meaningful connections aren’t limited to our closest circles – relationships with colleagues, acquaintances, and even casual contacts deserve thoughtful attention.
The Five-Minute Favour: A Principle of Giving
In his book Give and Take, Adam Grant introduces a simple yet powerful idea called “Five-Minute Favour.” While researching his book, Grant discovered Adam Rifkin, a celebrated Silicon Valley entrepreneur and one of the most successful networkers in the region.
When Rifkin started his first business fresh out of university, he was surprised by how many accomplished and busy people helped him without expecting anything in return. Intrigued, he observed their behaviour over time and noticed a pattern: they consistently offered small, unconditional favours to others.
Rifkin eventually realised that this generosity in giving was the secret to why his mentors were very successful. These five-minute favours of small unconditional giving is an investment into people and relationships. Giving unconditionally creates its own momentum of goodwill that offers returns to the giver in unexpected and invaluable ways along with strengthening relationships.
My Experience with Receiving
I’ve seen this principle in action in my own life. Earlier this year, when I launched my business, a friend – who heads the executive MBA programme at a prominent business school in India – shared my contact details with top industry coaches. He frequently checked in to ask about my progress and offered support and introductions without me ever requesting them.
Another friend, an established coach in the industry offered me guidance on my professional development. Other friends have actively referred me to people they thought could benefit from coaching. Some even signed up for coaching themselves, paying the full fee before I’d fully established my practice.
This year, I’ve been deeply moved by the generosity in giving of so many people who shared their time, energy, connections, advice and opportunities. This investment in relationships leads to mutual giving and receiving that comes full circle at some point.
Reflecting on Relationships
As we continue our reflection using the GRACE (Growth, Relationships, Alignment, Contribution, Energy) framework, this week focuses on relationships. Use the questions below to guide your journaling or introspection.
Focus Areas:
- Work Relationships
- Communication
- Mentoring
- Feedback
- Networking
1. Work Relationships
- Which work relationships have had the most positive impact on me this year, and why?
- How have I contributed to strengthening or maintaining key relationships at work?
- What challenges in work relationships did I face this year, and what lessons did they teach me?
- Who supported me the most this year, and how can I show my gratitude to them?
2. Communication
- What was the most meaningful or impactful conversation I had this year, and why did it stand out?
- What conversations this year felt particularly challenging, and how did I navigate them?
- How have I grown as a communicator this year, and where do I see room for improvement?
- What’s one piece of feedback about my communication that I’ve acted on or plan to?
3. Mentoring
- Who have I mentored or supported this year, and how has that shaped my own growth?
- What mentoring relationships stood out this year, and what value did they bring to both parties?
- How have I sought guidance or mentorship this year, and what did I gain from it?
- What lessons did I learn from mentoring or being mentored that I’ll carry into the next year?
4. Feedback
- What’s one piece of feedback I received this year that significantly influenced my growth?
- How have I adapted my approach to giving or receiving feedback over the year?
- When did I offer feedback that led to positive change, and what made it impactful?
- What’s one thing I’d like to improve about how I handle feedback moving forward?
5. Networking
- Which new connections have enriched my professional life this year, and how can I nurture them?
- How have I maintained or deepened existing relationships within my network this year?
- What opportunities or insights have come from my network this year, and how did I leverage them?
- What’s one thing I’d like to do differently in building and maintaining my network next year?
If I were to encapsulate the theme of my relationships this year in one word, it would be _________.
If I were to set an intention for my relationships in the coming year, it would be ____________.
Your Turn
Take some time to reflect. Choose the questions that resonate with you most, and journal your thoughts. Next week we will focus on Alignment.
