The Ultimate Guide to Finding the Right Life Coach in India

The Ultimate Guide to Finding the Right Life Coach in India

Sheena Iyengar, the best selling author of “The Art of Choosing” and widely renowned as the expert on choice, talks about choice overload.

“So when I was a graduate student at Stanford University, I used to go to this very, very upscale grocery store. It was a store called Draeger’s. They had 250 different kinds of mustards and vinegars and over 500 different kinds of fruits and vegetables and more than two dozen different kinds of bottled water. I used to love going to this store, but on one occasion, I asked myself, well, how come you never buy anything?

So one day I decided to do a little experiment, and we picked jam for our experiment. They had 348 different kinds of jam. We set up a little tasting booth right near the entrance of the store. We either put out six different flavours of jam or 24 different flavours of jam, and we looked at two things. First, in which case were people more likely to, you know, stop, sample some jam? More people stopped when there were 24 – about 60 percent – than when there were six – about 40 percent.

The next thing we looked at is in which case were people more likely to buy a jar of jam? Now we see the opposite effect. Of the people who stopped when there were 24, only 3 percent of them actually bought a jar of jam. Of the people who stopped when there were six, well, now we saw that 30 percent of them actually bought a jar of jam.

Now, if you do the math, people were at least six times more likely to buy a jar of jam if they encountered six than if they encountered 24. Now, the main reason for this is because, well, we might enjoy gazing at those giant walls of mayonnaises, mustards, vinegars, jams, but we can’t actually do the math of comparing and contrasting and actually picking from that stunning display.” 

Adulthood is tempting and fascinating. There is a promise of freedom and liberation from the tyranny of “not having many choices”, or so many of us think when we are children. Wait, till I grow up. I will never do what x,y or z did. 

The fundamental attraction of such freedom is the ability to make choices. One of the frustrations of adulthood is choice overload.  This is the side effect that comes from freedom to make decisions and choices. Choice overload often leads to indecisiveness, overwhelm and procrastination. 

Most of my clients come into the coaching sessions with a problem that is leaving them frustrated, confused or overwhelmed because of either too many choices or lack of right choices. “I want to leave my job, but I don’t have a choice.”, “I have to make a decision but I am paralysed, as I don’t want to regret my choice later.”  

Choices or the perceived lack of them rule our headspace and occupy so much of our mental bandwidth. This happens in two instances, one when the decision is very very consequential and significant. Like should I leave my corporate job and do something on my own? Should I move abroad for better job opportunities or stay back home where I have support? The other instance is when the decisions are seemingly inconsequential or minor. Like, should I choose this particular iPhone with 64GB or 128GB. Should I pack 4 t-shirts or 5 for the trip?

If you are actively working with a coach, this is something you can take into your coaching session to explore and get clarity on how to proceed with making or not making a certain choice. But there is a step zero, when you are trying to hire a life coach. You either have too many choices to choose from, which leaves you overwhelmed as you don’t know how to pick the right one. You don’t want to pick one, and regret the choice later. So that leaves you overwhelmed and you procrastinate. On the other hand, you don’t know where to start when you want to hire a life coach, and you don’t seem to have many choices in hand. 

In this “ultimate guide to finding the right life coach” I will offer you various perspectives on how you can go about hiring a life coach: when you have too many choices or when you don’t seem to have many.

In the typical coaching fashion, we will first start exploring what it is you want from the life coach. And then we will explore how to find a life coach and assess fitment. 

What do you want from the life coach?

1. Which area of life are you seeking to improve?

The Wheel of Life Assessment is a great way to assess which area of life you are seeking to focus on. This is the tool I use in the discovery session with a client to assess which area of life needs attention right now. 

wheel of life assessment

As you can see, the wheel of life has eight focus areas: Physical Health, Relational Health, Work, Personal Growth, Spiritual/Planet/Community, Fun and Recreation, Financial Health and Mental Health. You can replace any of these focus areas with whatever suits best for your life and situation. 

You rate your level of satisfaction with each area of life from a scale of 0-10 (0 being completely dissatisfied, and 10 being very satisfied). You can also journal what stands out in each of these focus areas of your life. Doing this exercise and pondering over what needs the most attention now is a good way of figuring out which area of your life you need support with. 

Once you have the focus area nailed down, write down three things you would like to zoom in and focus on. 

2. Where do you want to look?

There are some areas of our life where we are keen to move forward. There is no big baggage in the past or present that is hampering the focus. All you need to do is make some time and get some habits going. This is a place where life coaching really shines. It helps you to set goals, work on the barriers that are stopping you from achieving those goals, creating action plans and then holding you accountable. 

Also, on a deeper level, the coaching process is also about personal growth. The coach will explore with you what needs shifting and what has shifted for you through the process of coaching and working towards your goal. 

In some areas of life, you know that there is serious stuff in the past like trauma that needs to be addressed, acknowledged and processed before you can move ahead. In those places working with a coach and a therapist can be helpful to help you to put the past to rest, and move on with your present towards your future. 

You can also read Life Coaching Vs Therapy: Which one is right for you? 

3. What kind of support do you need?

Many advanced and master coaches do not readily offer advice or mentoring to their clients. So if you find a coach with the background and expertise you resonate with, it is helpful to ask them explicitly for advice or strategies. The whole coaching process is not about giving you a template or a system or a series of steps to achieve fulfilment and happiness. The process is about facilitating exploration and discovery for the client so that they can look at themselves, and their patterns, emotions and dreams deeply and cultivate the awareness, courage and action that they need to move ahead in life. 

If you are looking for explicit systems or steps, then a “real coach” is not likely to offer you that. So if you are looking for specific strategies, then it is good to be clear on that and find professionals who will give that for you. It is unlikely that they will facilitate a deep exploration of yourself, because that would mean coming up with your own system or way of working which can be different from their program. 

If you do find coaches who resonate with you and offer you the space for exploration and discovery, you can explicitly ask them to give you advice or share their experience which could be helpful for you. 

How to find a life coach?

1. Word of Mouth 

This is one of the best ways of finding a life coach. If you know someone who has worked with a coach, and it has really helped them, this is a great place to start too. You could ask your friend, loved one or colleague how the life coach has helped, what is the process they went through and would they recommend that person to you. This is a good place to start if you are looking to hire a coach. If you find that coaching is not something that your peer or inner circle has sought before then you can go through coaching platforms or search engines. 

2. Coaching Platforms   

These are a viable option for many people working in corporates. Many companies have tie ups with coaching platforms like BetterUp, CoachHub or other such companies who have a number of coaches contracting with them. So if your company has a tie up with one such coaching platform, it would be a good idea to first find your coach on the platform.

Generally, the coaches listed in the platform have gone through some background check of their coaching training and credentials by the company. That is no indication of the fitment of the coach with you and your situation, but that is a good place to start if you have that access or are struggling to find life coaches either through search engines or word of mouth. 

3. Search Engines

Yup good ol’fashioned Google is a great way to find a life coach. If you are looking for face to face coaching sessions, then Google maps or the search engine will be able to give you options in the area you live. Many coaches have their own websites or LinkedIn profiles. They will have information about the coach’s professional background, area of expertise and their coaching niche.

The reviews on the Google Business Profile and the testimonials on the website will give you an indication of the kind of clients they work with, their expertise and what kind of coaching situations they predominantly work with. 

4. Social Media

Many coaches are content creators on LinkedIn/Instagram/TikTok/Threads and other social media platforms. This can be one way to find a coach if the above three methods have failed for you. Also this can be one of the ways in which you can get more background about the coach if you have a few shortlisted. 

How to assess fitment with a life coach?

You may not find the life coach that suits you at the first go. You will need to shortlist a few coaches using one of the four methods listed above and try them out to see how you feel about working with that coach. 

Once you have shortlisted a few coaches here are three ways you can assess fitment with the coach. 

1. Chemistry Session

Most coaches offer a discovery or chemistry session with new clients. These tend to be free or low priced so that the coach and the client can assess mutual fitment. This would a good time for you to ask the coach about their background, coaching style, coaching philosophy and what kind of clients do they work with. 

This would also be the perfect time to enquire about scheduling, pricing, length of contract, duration of the sessions, accountability and contact outside of the sessions. 

A good coach should be able to give you clear answers to all of the above, or share resources that will help you to get an idea of whether these factors align with what you are looking for. Don’t hesitate to ask the coach anything that is crucial for you to know to make a decision. 

Something crucial to note during the chemistry session is how connected you feel to the coach. Do you think you would be able to open up to the coach without fear of being judged? Do you think the coach will offer you a place for exploration instead of rushing you into solutions? 

2. Testimonials/Reviews 

The coach’s website, social media profiles and external review platforms are a good source of client testimonials and reviews. You can look at the testimonials and see if any of those client profiles and results align with what you are looking for.

3. Background

Understanding the coach’s professional training and background, and their life journey is a good way to understand if this is a person you would be willing to open up and have a chat with. Asking the coach, how did they come to this path and what has been their motivation to be a coach will give you an idea of what their coaching philosophy is. 

Remember that the fitment is a two-way street. You, as a client need to assess how would the coach fit for your needs, and similarly a coach would need to assess if a client would fit their client profile. Sometimes, the coach may not be the right person for the job if the client needs a very specific niche, or mentoring or systems to follow. 

Taking some time in assessing fitment will help you as a client to choose the right life coach you need at this moment in your life. 

Summary

In summary, it is important for you to understand what is the reason you want to work with a life coach by doing some self work even before looking out. Next is to short list a few coaches, and then assess fitment. Remember not to shortlist 10 coaches and then get overwhelmed trying to find the perfect coach. If you speak to your first coach and you think you may hit off, you can sign up for a 3 session contract and see how the relationship develops. 

Transform Your Life Today

Ready to create the life you’ve always envisioned? Book a free session now and start your journey with personalized life coaching.

Life Coaching Vs Therapy: Which One is Right For You?

Life Coaching Vs Therapy: Which One is Right For You?

Life Coaching vs Therapy: What do you need?

Imagine this: You are feeling stuck in life. Maybe it’s your career, your relationships, or just an overarching sense of “something’s off.” You know you need support, but here’s the catch—you’re not sure if you need someone to help you heal from the past or walk towards the future. Should you see a life coach or a therapist?

This is a common question when one is at a crossroads. It’s one I’ve faced in my own life, and it’s something many of my clients bring to our initial conversations. Let’s explore the differences, clear up the misconceptions, and help you decide who’s the best fit for your needs.

Coaching vs Therapy: Clearing Up the Confusion

When I began my coach training with Neuroleadership Institute, I was introduced to the difference between therapy and coaching.

It is often framed like this:

  • Therapy looks back at the past to heal and restore.
  • Coaching looks forward to helping you set and achieve goals.

It sounds simple, doesn’t it? Therapy is for those dealing with mental illness or emotional wounds, while coaching is for mentally healthy people looking to thrive. But here’s the truth – it’s not always so black and white.

Sustainable change often requires processing past experiences. Uncovering and addressing underlying beliefs can be challenging without exploring past events in a safe, supportive space. While the past may surface in coaching, the future is ever-present in therapy. So, how do you decide whether to choose a life coach or a therapist?

As an ICF-certified coach, I’ve received extensive training, supervision, and practice in coaching. I’ve also personally benefited from therapy. While I work with a coach on and off depending on my needs, I’ve been meeting with my therapist consistently—at least twice a month—since 2019. Based on my experience and professional training, let’s decode the differences between these professions and how to choose the right one for you.

CLOSE LOOK: Understanding Mental Illness vs Mental Health

Before diving into coaching and therapy, let’s clarify the distinction between mental illness and mental health, as this is critical to making an informed decision.

Mental health and illness are terms that are used interchangeably. Let’s explore what exactly they mean, because they are very relevant in understanding when, where and how therapy and coaching are helpful.

Mental Illness

Mental illnesses are diagnosable conditions that significantly impact a person’s behaviour, mood or thinking, often impairing their daily functioning. Examples include schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, depression and anxiety disorders. Mental illness is a disruption in mental well-being, and is part of mental health. Without intervention, mental illness is disruptive and affects interpersonal relationships, physical health, emotional regulation and daily life. Treating mental illness requires targeted interventions like medication, therapy or other treatments.

Mental Health

Mental health is a broader concept. Just as everyone has physical health, everyone has mental health. It is a dynamic state of well-being that changes with life’s ups and downs. Mental health is not a fixed state and it fluctuates based on life events, stressors, support system and environment. Good mental health allows us to cope with challenges, build resilience and improve our quality of life. While mental illness is a disruption of mental health, mental health itself exists on a spectrum.

Therapy

Therapy is a process that helps clients heal. It is a process of personal growth through self awareness and acceptance. It is particularly effective for addressing mental illness and persistent challenges that interfere with every day functioning. Therapy often involves exploring the past to work with unprocessed experiences, events and beliefs that have left a mark on one’s psyche.

Therapy also supports in building one’s mental health when persistent behaviour patterns are preventing progress in one’s life or causing interpersonal challenges. The goal in therapy is to guide clients towards wellness, healing, equipping them with skills to handle ups and downs of life without going into distress.

Therapy is powerful and life changing. I’ve used therapy to work through trauma, mental illness and persistent patterns that I’ve not been able to break with just self work. It has been the key to my surviving and thriving while living with chronic health conditions.

Life Coaching

Life coaching is a process that helps clients to move toward achieving their goals. It is a laser focused process where the coach partners with the clients to set goals and work towards them. All insights, awareness, learning and growth that a client experiences in the coaching session is channeled towards helping the client achieve the goal. Life coaching is a goal oriented process.

Coaching is not an intervention that can treat mental illness. It can be used in conjunction with therapy to help create new habits or work with specific challenges at work or interpersonal relationships. But it cannot and should not replace therapy when working with mental illness.

Coaching is powerful to move forward with specific goals. I’ve worked with coaches during pivotal moments such as starting my business and becoming financially independent. and I’ve worked with coaches when I started my business. Coaching offers accountability, structured reflection and clarity, which can be incredibly effective for many areas of our work and life.

What’s Common?

Both therapists and life coaches facilitate personal growth. They use active listening and create a safe, supportive space for clients to develop self awareness.

What’s Different?

There are three key differences between life coaches and therapists that we will explore below.

1. Professional Training

Therapists typically require formal education and licensure in psychology, psychotherapy or counselling to practise.

Life coaches, on the other hand, aren’t regulated, meaning anyone can call themselves a coach. There is no oversight or requirement that an individual needs to meet before they can call themselves a life coach. However, there are international coaching bodies that have set a standard for ethical and professional standards in coaching. Three major international bodies offer credentialing and standards that a coach needs to meet before being certified by them.

They are International Coaching Federation, Center for Credentialing and Education and European Mentoring and Coaching Council. These organisations have extensive requirements of training, assessment, mentoring, supervision and practice before they offer the credential of a coach. So if a life coach has one of these credentials then it is safe to assume that they have put in the time, effort and money into training to become a coach.

Of course there is no guarantee that a coach with a credential is going to be good at what they do. And likewise a coach without a credential can be amazing at what they do. Credential is a signal that indicates to a client that the coach has put in the work to learn and practice coaching skills. It is a strong signal of a coach’s dedication to their craft and practice.

2. Surviving Vs Thriving

Therapists are best suited to address issues affecting your every day functioning at work and in life.

Life coaches are ideal for enhancing quality of life or work – helping with key decisions, transitions, building habits, tackling limiting beliefs, doing your best work and unleashing your full potential.

Survival = Therapist. Thriving = Coach.

That said, a good therapist can also support thriving, just as an ethical coach will refer clients to therapy when deeper issues arise.

3. Process Vs Project

If a therapist can work with you on both matters of survival and thriving, then why does one need a life coach?

The key differentiator is that a coach focuses on setting goals and working towards them. A coach will help the client set overall life goals, and then session goals. Setting session goals can sometimes take up to one-third of a session, as getting this clarity right up front can be transformational for a client in choosing the issue they want to address that will help them move forward.

This is not the key focus for a therapist, because the process is about increasing self awareness, building resilience and improving quality of life. When a client is working on a specific goal with a therapist, and if the client is unable to move forward or break through some barriers, the therapist will go deep to uncover what is behind it. What’s beneath the iceberg then becomes the focus. The goal takes a back seat and it may or may not feature in the future therapy sessions.

Whereas in a coaching session, the focus is always on how the past can be used to inform the present and the future. The coach doesn’t get deep into this exploration of the past and if need be will refer the client to a therapist to do the exploration while the coach and the client work towards making progress on their goals.

Therapy is a continuous process that adds to an individual in terms of their being. Coaching is a targeted approach that is useful when there are goals that a client wants to work towards that will enhance their quality of work and life, which will help them thrive in their world.

How to Choose between a Coach and a Therapist?

Here are five questions to guide your decision between choosing a coach or a therapist.

  1. Do you need support with mental illness? Therapist.
  2. Are you struggling with persistent challenges to your mental health? Therapist.
  3. Do you want to uncover the root cause for dysfunctional behaviours and break unconstructive patterns? Therapist.
  4. Do you want targeted support to achieve a specific goal? Coach.
  5. Do you want to work towards goals that result in your life’s best work? Coach.

The Best of Both Worlds

Therapy helps uncover root causes of behaviour, fostering healing and acceptance. Coaching helps clients set and achieve goals – both the BHAG (Big Hairy Audacious Goals) and every day goals that will make their life and work better. Coaches will help you to identify and progress towards these goals, work with barriers and take action that help you to achieve the goals.

Many of my clients work with a therapist to explore deeper issues while I support them in setting and achieving their goals in their life and work. I help them identify and remove barriers and move closer towards their goals – no matter how impossible or audacious a goal they are.

Still unsure? Book a free, no-obligation call with me to discuss your needs and determine the best fit for your situation. And, don’t worry, this call is not a sales call! It is a conversation designed to ensure that you meet the professional aligned to your needs, and I work with clients aligned to the work I enjoy doing the best.

Transform Your Life Today

Ready to create the life you’ve always envisioned? Book a free session now and start your journey with personalized life coaching.

What does a Life Coach Do?

What does a Life Coach Do?

There is an inside joke among coaching professionals:

“After the second session, every coaching is life coaching.”

In coaching, we work with the person, not just the problem. Whether it’s career, executive or leadership coaching, effective coaching addresses the individual as a whole. It is not just about solving the immediate challenges but it is a process of learning and growth for the client as a person. In this sense, every good coach is a life coach.

A coach goes beyond solving the problems, but facilitates the process of personal growth in the client that transforms their reality and helps the client reach goals and dreams that were previously not within their reach or the realm of possibility.

Who is a Life Coach?

A life coach is a professional trained in foundational coaching skills, often complemented by expertise in a specific area. While niche expertise (e.g., relationships, productivity, grief, nutrition, etc) can enhance their practice, the ability to coach effectively is grounded in their mastery of core coaching principles.

With the right coaching skills, a life coach can help clients navigate present and forward-looking situations across diverse areas of life. Some life coaches specialise in specific niches, such as relationships, parenting, ADHD, nutrition, or grief. But the essence of their work remains the same: empowering clients to bridge the gap between where they are and where they want to be.

Imagine you are standing on the bank of a river, looking across to the other side. A life coach is like a bridge, helping you cross over to reach your destination.

What does a Life Coach Do?

A life coach partners with clients in a co-creative process to help them achieve their goals. At the heart of this partnership are three key responsibilities of a coach:

  1. Offering a safe space for exploration
  2. Identifying meaningful goals
  3. Facilitating client growth

Let’s explore these key responsibilities in detail.

1. Offering a safe space for exploration

When I accept myself as I am, then I can change.

– Carl Rogers

This quote captures the essence of what sets coaching apart from conversations with friends or family. A coach creates a non-judgemental space filled with curiosity and unconditional positive regard for a client. Unlike loved ones, who might have preconceived notions or emotional investments in the outcome, a coach remains neutral. Everything the coach does in a session is in the service of the client. That is their only agenda and they allow the client to steer both the conversation and outcomes.

In a safe space, clients are able to freely explore their underlying beliefs, emotions and conflicts without fear of judgement. The coach acts as a container, creating and holding space for the client’s self-discovery.

This is one of the most challenging aspects of the coaching process. The coach will not judge whatever is coming up for the client in this process. The role of the coach is to help the client come face to face with themselves with authenticity, bravery and compassion. This is the foundation in which the transformation of the client is built in a coaching relationship.

2. Identifying Meaningful Goals

A goal without a plan is just a wish.

– Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

Setting and working towards goals is what distinguishes coaching from mentoring and even therapy. At the start of a coaching engagement, the coach and client co-create an overarching goal for their sessions. Each session begins by identifying a specific focus or goal, ensuring that the conversation remains aligned with the client’s broader aspirations. The goal setting in each session is both an art and science that is a key part of a coach’s training.

Goals in coaching are not just about ambitious targets like setting Big Hairy Audacious Goals (BHAGs). They also involve breaking down these ambitions into manageable steps and addressing them systematically. Some goals are not BHAGs, but instead working towards something that will improve the quality of their life significantly: setting new habits, minimising screen time, improving productivity, increasing concentration, planning and executing better.

For example, let’s say a client wants to establish a fitness routine, which has been set as the overarching goal for three sessions. In the first session, the coach might explore what a fitness routine is, what makes it important for a client, why is it meaningful, what would it change for the client if they got a routine in place, what would a fitness routine look like, and what obstacles – internal and external – stand in the way.

Through this process, the client gains deeper insights and is guided to translate these insights into actionable steps that help them to get started and build momentum towards their overall goal.

3. Facilitating Client Growth

The only journey is the one within.

– Rainer Maria Rilke

The heart of coaching lies in helping clients grow through self-discovery, insight and action.

During the coaching process, the client develops a clearer understanding of themselves or a situation. This awareness leads to personal insights, which the coach helps the client integrate into their life. A coach evokes awareness through their presence, questions and reflections. This helps the client explore obstacles, uncover strengths and deepen self-reflection. This learning process empowers the client to make meaningful progress toward their goals.

After gaining a new insight in a session, the client and coach work together to design actionable next steps. The coach also facilitates discussions around accountability, potential barriers and resources needed to ensure sustainable progress. The integration of learning is a critical aspect of the coaching process. The most impactful growth occurs when clients discover insights for themselves, rather than relying on the coach to provide advice or solutions.

Does A Life Coach Offer Advice?

I have all my life long been lying in bed till noon; yet I tell all young men, and tell them with great sincerity, that nobody who does not rise early will ever do any good.

– Samuel Johnson

Coaching, as a profession, is an advice-free zone.

Transform Your Life Today

Ready to create the life you’ve always envisioned? Book a free session now and start your journey with personalized life coaching.

Name It, Tame It:  Understanding Distractions To Manage Them Effectively

Name It, Tame It:  Understanding Distractions To Manage Them Effectively

In Arizona and Mexico, at twilight, thousands of Mexican free-tailed bats wing out of their caves to go on one of their famous hunting sprees. A large colony of Mexican free-tailed bats can consume an estimated 250 tonnes of insects in a single night. The colonies have large appetites!

Aaron Corcoran, a biologist, was studying the hunting habits of the Mexican free-tailed bats when he spotted something unusual. Bats use a variety of calls to communicate with each other and to navigate, and most of these calls are outside of human hearing range. Corcoran’s ultrasonic microphones picked up an unusual frequency that the bats were sending out when they were about to snag their prey. Corcoran and his colleague William Conner studied this phenomenon further.

Through a series of experiments, they found that bats emit these special signals, which interfere with and confuse the navigational signals of the other bats in the vicinity. Bats about to snag their prey send out these “jammer” signals, loaded with too many frequencies, throwing the other bats off track and causing distraction. The free-tailed bats considerably reduced their competitor’s success chances of capturing this prey from 65% to 18% by sending out distractions.

Distractions are aplenty in our lives in this modern age of working and living. When trying to get things done or achieve our goals, distractions throw us off course. Like the competitor of the free-tailed bats about to snag its prey, our path is jammed up by distractions, reducing our chances and success rate of achieving our goals.

So, how do we tame the distractions we encounter and move towards living and doing our work with intention?

First, we need to be able to name the distractions. We must look closely at them with curiosity and understand their nature. We can tame them once we see them for what they are and name them.

Why is naming distractions important?

Most often, we employ strategies to manage distractions without truly understanding them. This leads to strategies that do not work in the long term, and we slip into old habits of working. This gets us into the vicious loop of letting things slide until we are forced to do something drastic to reclaim our focus and intention.

Once we are able to name our distractions, we can find strategies uniquely suited to managing and working with them. We will explore in detail three broad categories of distractions.

  • External
  • Task Related
  • Internal

External Distractions

The source of these distractions is outside of your immediate task. They do not originate from within you or from your task. These distractions have a strong pull on your senses. They have strong sensory stimuli that make them potent sources of distraction.

The three major sources of external distractions are:

  • Environment
  • People
  • Technology

Environment

As I write this article, the only sounds I can hear trickle into my study are the distant hum of traffic, occasional movement in the apartment above me, wind in the trees, and my keyboard clacking. It is a quiet day. My environment is conducive to deep work right now. But not always.

On other days, there would be a drilling sound from the floors above, blaring Bollywood songs from loudspeakers, frequent doorbells, and people having conversations within earshot. Each environment is unique in its endless source of noise and interruptions. There are days when they do not matter much, but when you are doing work that needs high focus or mental energy, these distractions can become bothersome.

People

When I was working in an office, there was always a shortage of space, so we ended up hot desking and often had less than one foot distance from my co-worker. Colleagues dropping in for a chat, children running into your office to ask questions, and family members interrupting your work are some of the typical distractions you would have from “live” people in your surroundings.

When your energy is low, this distraction can drive you up the wall and reduce your capacity to regulate your emotions and capacity to respond.

Technology

Technology as a source of distraction deserves a whole article in itself. This particular type of distraction is now ubiquitous. Phones, computers, smart watches, tablets, and smart home appliances are loaded with endless opportunities to “notify” us of something. Almost all devices are designed by default to send us notifications from inbuilt apps or the ones we install.

Email, phone, message, chat, social media, delivery, news, stock market price, Duolingo, meditation, drinking water, fasting—every app on our devices sends us notifications throughout the day. These notifications are harder to resist than the other kinds, and they are addictive, too.

Task Related Distractions

The source of this kind of distraction arises from the task at hand. These occur when our attention is diverted to activities or tasks unrelated to our primary goal.

Let’s explore the three types of task-related distractions.

  • Multi-Tasking
  • Hyper Focus on Minor Details
  • Productive Procrastination

Multi-Tasking

Multi-tasking is better described as task switching. More often than not, we do not do multiple tasks in parallel; we switch quickly from one task to another.

This is my major source of distraction and has been my Achilles heel for a long time. I am writing this article in a digital co-working space, and there is a check-in every hour. While writing this article, I popped into the chat to quip with other co-workers about the check-in question. Thankfully, the facilitator has better impulse control than I do, and he turned off the chat window, thereby saving us from ourselves.

This constant switching of tasks can be an impediment and completely undesirable when the task at hand demands our full attention. Constant task switching also taxes our brain, tiring it out and making it inefficient. This also reduces our ability to return to the optimum level of focus on the primary task. Research shows that task switching affects our concentration, performance and efficiency.

Hyper Focus on Minor Details

When I had to prepare for a difficult meeting, I spent a lot of time hyper-focusing on minor details that would have no bearing on the actual meeting. I might spend hours obsessing over the correct shade of red to use in a box or adjusting the opacity of shadows in a PowerPoint presentation.

This is a typical response to stress or anxiety that is undercurrent to the task that we are performing. It is likely that to manage that stress or anxiety, we might unconsciously hyperfocus on minor details that have minimal relevance, thereby distracting us from the task at hand.

Productive Procrastination

There have been many times when I had to start working on a big project, but instead, I have spent the day cleaning and re-organising my house. Instead of working on the difficult task, I would clean my decade’s worth of mail sitting in my inbox, thinking I was doing something productive. It needs to be done at some point, so now is a good time!

Productive procrastination can take the form of organising and tidying your physical or digital environment when you have a significant task that needs your attention. These are ‘productive’ but completely unnecessary in-the-moment activities that distract us from our discomfort with the task at hand.

Internal Distractions

The source of these distractions is within you—your thoughts, feelings, and overall state of body. Let’s examine each one closely in this section.

In 2014, I attended my first ten-day silent meditation retreat (a traditional Vipassana retreat). We had to surrender all our devices and reading and writing materials as part of the retreat. We had to surrender every single source of external stimulation so that we could work with our minds. I was expecting to feel a sense of relief and quiet without being constantly tethered to devices and having to respond to every notification.

However, I discovered that I had the limitless capacity to distract myself using my thoughts, emotions, past events, and future worries instead of focusing on my breath or scanning my body.

These are the true sources of distraction, manifesting in our behaviour as reacting to external or task-related distractions. These internal distractions are triggers which can set off a chain of reactions in our behaviour, like reducing our tolerance and acting out to stimuli in our environment or our tasks.

Let’s examine the three kinds of internal distractions arising from within us.

  • Emotions
  • Physical Sensations
  • Thoughts

Emotions

Emotions are feelings combined with some really strong thoughts. These are feelings loaded with stories. Strong emotions can arise from reliving the past, something in the present, or thinking about the future. The intensity of these emotions can be strong and impede our ability to stay focused on the task at hand.

Physical Sensations

When doing 24-hour fasts, I was acutely aware of the physical sensations of hunger and my body’s prompting for food. That made it hard for me to focus on my work for the last 2 hours of my fast.

Physical signals like hunger, fatigue, discomfort, and pain can make it hard to stay focused. These sensations can narrow our focus to what is happening in our body and signal our brain to focus on that to alleviate the discomfort. This consumes a lot of mental energy, making it hard to stay focused on doing something that doesn’t relate to alleviating this discomfort.

Thoughts

The thoughts in our heads, especially if we are stuck with one or two of them, can distract us from the present moment and take our focus away. These can take the form of thought loops, where a set of thoughts keeps running in the mind, like a spin-dry cycle on the washing machine without a stop button.

Sometimes, there are chains of thoughts, where one thought leads to another, and then we are down a rabbit hole without the awareness of where we are going with the thought and whether that’s the place where we want to be in our heads.

Emotions, physical sensations, and thoughts are not distinct but closely related. Any of these can cause a cascade of reactions in the body and mind and set the other two off. A thought stuck in our heads can lead us to relive an intense emotional experience, setting off uncomfortable physical sensations in our bodies.

How do you know when something is distracting, even if it seems productive?

Activities by themselves are not distracting. What makes anything distracting is if it does not let us accomplish what we intend to do. If I am sitting down to work and intend to complete this article but am getting pulled away by the notifications on my phone or internet rabbit holes or building castles in my head, then I am getting distracted.

Distractions are anything that takes us away from our intention and objective of the task at hand. If I have nothing to do and am just unwinding, scrolling through Instagram is not a distraction but something I choose to do to unwind.

If I chat with a friend while writing this article for a minute, I am not distracted, provided I can return my full focus for the rest of the writing session and leave the conversation outside this task.

Distraction is when we get carried away to places we do not intend to go right now, especially if we have somewhere else to be. I want to drive to the medical store to get some medicines, but I have a craving for ice cream, so I go down to the ice cream store to buy ice cream and return home without the medicines! Now, that is a distraction.

Distractions are not the villains we make them out to be. They are a valuable source of information on what is happening within and around us and an opportunity to engage or re-engage in what we are doing intentionally.

To summarise what we’ve covered so far:

  • Distractions are anything that consistently takes us away from our intended task, making it hard to focus and pay attention.
  • Distractions can be broadly

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Creating A Freedom Fund

Creating A Freedom Fund

Creating your version of freedom fund

Life is short! You live only once! So go and follow your dreams.

This can sound like magical thinking to some of us, especially if we are not in a position to drop things and go and follow our hearts. There are bills to be paid, loved ones to care for and other practical things to do. But it does not mean you give up on living or following your dreams or discovering new dreams, even if you are chronically ill and support yourself/your family financially.

It came into keen focus for me as I grappled with limited mobility, low energy and other health issues that I would want to go out and do my own thing, for once. But I wasn’t sure or confident about 3 things.

1) What do I want to do?

2) Can I afford to do it?

3) Do I have it in me to go out on my own?

Answering the first and the third questions was difficult. I did not know the answer. Question number 2 seemed to be the only “objective” question with a yes or no answer. I instinctively answered, no.

Then I paused and asked myself, “How do you know you can’t afford it?” I didn’t know what it would take to afford to go out on my own. I simply did not know. So I flipped question number 2 to, “How can I make sure I can afford it?”

The answer, after going down a rabbit hole of personal finance books (I have read around 30 books on this topic and consumed a multitude of podcasts and blog posts), I came across an interesting concept called “Fuck You Fund”.

A “Fuck You” Fund lets you walk out of any situation where staying it in is no longer constructive for your being – either in terms of physical, emotional or psychological safety. So many people stay in environments or people that are traumatic and injurious to their being because they can’t “afford” to walk away.

Having a “Fuck You” fund means you can “afford to” walk away from situations

I expanded this concept to three levels that were helpful for me to create financial independence, leave the corporate job (golden handcuffs and all), and start my own heart-centred business.

The three levels are

1. Fuck You Fund

2. Sabbatical Fund

3. Freedom Fund

Level 1: Fuck You Fund

This amounts to 1-3 months of living expenses. If you do not track your expenses to the last penny or even broadly, you might wonder how much money that is. The next month, you receive your salary, put it in an account, and look at how much money is left at the end of the month. Make sure there are no other inflows to this account.

You can do it for a month, or two or three, and you will get an idea of your living expenses. If you are doing it for the first time, you might be shocked when you see how much money is spent on monthly expenses. At your current spending level, keep aside one month of living expenses. Slowly grow it to 3 months.

There, you have your Fuck You Fund, which lets you have the option of walking away. Having this option doesn’t mean you have to exercise it. Still, it offers an enormous amount of psychological safety to know that you can walk away from a situation and not stay in it because you don’t have the financial means to do so.

This is crucial if you are working while chronically ill because everyday stressors can exaggerate your health and symptoms. If stress at work continues to be high or chronic, you would want the option to walk away if things don’t turn around. It is not worth trading your health for money, and having the financial means to walk away is helpful.

Related read: How to Find the Right Life Coach in India

Level 2: Sabbatical Fund

When I marked 16 years of working, I realised I had never taken extended time off. By the 16th year, I was tired physically, mentally and emotionally. My health was taking a nose dive, and I wanted to have a few months off from work. I did not want to resign (I couldn’t afford to!) but wanted to take a sabbatical.

I wouldn’t be earning during the sabbatical period, so I needed to ensure that I had 6 months’ worth of living expenses in the bank. My sabbatical fell right in the middle of the COVID-19 pandemic. I started my sabbatical in July 2020 until the end of the year. I wanted to go backpacking in Europe for my break, but the pandemic and fibromyalgia ensured that this wasn’t happening.

But in preparation for the sabbatical (preparation time was two years), I had set aside six months of living expenses and some money for travel. Instead, I was able to use this fund to move to better living conditions, attend workshops, furnish my new house and give myself more comfort than I did not before.

A sabbatical fund can be between 6 months to 5 years of living expenses, depending on what works best for you. You can use the sabbatical fund to take a break, start a new business, travel, recuperate, or get treatments done to improve your health. The Sabbatical Fund ensures that you have time at your disposal for whatever duration you choose.

I learnt Tai Chi during my Sabbatical and trained as a Mindfulness Facilitator during this period, both of which improved my life and health. The mindfulness facilitator training led to a significant career shift as a Community Manager for my bank’s award-winning mindfulness program two years later.

If you have built up your Fu*k You Fund, you can start working on your Sabbatical Fund. Start with 6 months, 9, 12, 15 and go on for whatever period you want a sabbatical.

Level 3: Freedom Fund

This Freedom Fund is my ultimate financial goal, where I can accumulate enough of a corpus so that I don’t have to worry about money forever and can do whatever I want! This is not as unrealistic as one thinks. This is, in essence, what we traditionally think of as retirement. A Freedom Fund is your Retirement Fund.

There is a concept called FIRE – Financial Independence Retire Early. If you know your FIRE number, you can work towards accumulating that corpus. When you reach that corpus number, you can leave your job and live off by withdrawing a certain percentage.

Dear reader, if this interests you, I can explore how I will do this in future articles.

What happens when I have emergencies?

This is a question that would come up for me when I started funding my Fuck You Fund and Sabbatical Fund. After looking at my expenses and realising I couldn’t get a mathematical model of predicting my emergency expenses, I have kept aside 15% of my annual expenses in a separate fund called “Emergency Fund” that helps me deal with emergencies. Mostly health-related. If I have a test or a treatment I need to take, then the emergency fund helps me deal with it.

In summary, levelling up your savings game into a goal-oriented game to create your levels of freedom can be empowering if you are working when chronically ill and would like to have the option to take a break to focus on yourself.

Write to Me!

This article could spark questions, so if you have any, drop me a note, and I’d be happy to consider addressing them in future articles.

This article is the continuation of my 30-part series on Chronic Illness and Work. If you are not subscribed, do so here. When you subscribe, you will receive the series as and when it is released in your inbox.

The Role of Money (When You Have Chronic Illness)

The Role of Money (When You Have Chronic Illness)

What’s money doing in a series on chronic illness and work?

Everything! If you think about it, the most fundamental reason why most of us work is to earn a living. Unless you are worried about losing your job, knee-deep in debt, or struggling to make your daily expenses, money is one of those things that we take for granted. It moves to the background, and it is something that we don’t pay attention to unless we need it and can’t find it. When you are less than healthy, having flexibility with your money becomes essential.

So, what does money get you? Money is a tool of exchange. You can exchange money for three things.

  • Time
  • Energy
  • Choices

Time is vital when you are not well for an extended period.

You need more time in your day to do your exercise, breathing exercises, take care of your nutrition, meditate and many other things. Suddenly, some things become necessary to manage your health daily. Before I focused on my inner life, I had no semblance of a routine in my everyday life. The only constant in the day was that I would need to turn up at work.

As I started working on getting my mind in place, I began introducing and experimenting with new habits in my everyday routine. And, to my surprise, I realised they were time-consuming!

My morning routine, with breaks, now takes up to 2.5 hours daily. The activities add up to two hours, but I have realised I need at least 10 minutes to transition from one activity to the next.

Energy becomes a premium when you have a chronic illness.

While working for my previous employer, I ran on a 20% battery on most days, which depleted quickly if I had any stress during the day. The demands that others have on my time, my work, the goals and the objectives, plus numerous interactions on a day-to-day basis and dealing with office politics, ensured that I was quickly depleted in the first few hours of the day.

I can see the difference between the time I was working in a corporate job (pre-July 2023) and now when I am self-employed.

Now, I am running at 75% battery on most days, and when I am depleted, I have the autonomy to organise my day in a way that supports my body. I don’t have to force myself to get through a workday when I am unable to.

Choices gain a new meaning when you have a chronic illness.

I wanted to have choices of treatment that were not covered by my health insurance. I wanted choices of work, working hours, location, unplugging off my internet, and number of leaves. I liked to have options in terms of the people I worked with. I wanted choices to not put up with stuff I didn’t have to. I wanted a lot more autonomy regarding my time off and flexibility to schedule them when I wanted to instead of aligning my deliveries, project deadlines and colleagues’ leave schedules.

Also, some choices start getting restricted with chronic illness. Travel became one of those. It would take me weeks to recover from a week’s trip, even if it were a vacation. If I had a meeting late in the evening, it disrupted my biorhythm. Disruption in sleep schedules was taking a massive toll on my body. I had to think carefully and plan well for a trip or a late evening meeting!

Money helps give more flexibility with time, energy and choices.

If you are less than well, with any long-term health condition, this is one area of your life that needs to come to the forefront, even if you seem to be settled for now.

But more money does not always give you flexibility.

Sometimes, you might need to trade off a lower income for more energy, time and choices. You’ve got to understand the sweet spot of money that gives you this flexibility. Beyond a point, trading your time and energy for more money could be detrimental to your health in the short and long term.

Just before I quit my corporate job in 2023, I received a pay hike, and my salary came to a level that I could not even imagine. Finally, the gender pay parity gap was starting to close, and my salary was coming close to that of my peers. In another three years(!) I would have been at par.

The money coming into my account took my breath away

I could guarantee my retirement if I continued to earn this money for at least five years. I would not have to worry about my future anymore. This was important to me as a single woman who doesn’t have a family to fall back on.

But I wanted other things that money couldn’t give me. I was being drawn to spend more time cultivating my meditation practice. I wanted time to let my body be. I wanted to explore my interests without worrying about how many leaves (time off) I had.

I wanted more time, space and ease in my life.

With the uncertainty that comes with living with chronic illness and having just lived through a pandemic, it became clear that some things couldn’t wait for another five years.

My life could not wait till I accumulated a golden nest.

I sat with my financial planner, reviewed my finances and decided I had enough in my freedom fund to take two years off. After six months of just being and enjoying my time and space, I have returned with renewed energy to start Saner Work Life, a dream I had held in a cage for 15 years.

So, coming back to money, there are tradeoffs with time, energy and choices that we make.

These tradeoffs with money need to be brought to awareness and thought about wisely.

If you have a chronic illness, creating a freedom fund, investing money towards your future, managing your expenses, adopting a minimalist attitude in certain areas of life, prioritising your needs and aligning your budget to them, and organising your finances become critical.

I am not a financial planner, but these are the areas I have paid much attention to over the past five years to create financial sufficiency and freedom for myself despite many obstacles.

Your situation will not be the same as mine. None of our situations are. This series of articles gives you a perspective, my experience of what has worked for me, and suggestions you can take away, reflect and adapt to your situation.

We will explore each of these areas in this series on Chronic Illness and Work. If you are not subscribed, do so here. When you subscribe, you will receive the series as and when it is released in your inbox.