The games we play and the traps we set
At 10:30 a.m. on a Tuesday, I was waiting in the lobby of a bank to access my locker. The “locker key person” was late, and I had already been waiting for half an hour. I was told it would likely take another 15 minutes.
An employee I knew, whom I’ll call V, walked in and engaged me in conversation while I was waiting (with increasing frustration) to access my locker.
V shared how short-staffed they have been. She said that the bank was recruiting fewer people, and the existing staff had to take on three different roles at the same time. The work that used to be done by seven people was just done by three.
I remarked, “I hope you are getting compensated for that.”
She said, “Madam, to be honest, our increments have been very low. We don’t have appraisals like you do. (She works in a Public Sector Bank, unlike me, who worked for a Private Bank.) Even with a promotion that we are eligible for every three years, I may get a 15% hike. That 15% hike, in real terms, translates into just a 5% hike over my take-home pay.”
I said, “Ah, the “real increment” in terms of your actual income is not much then.”
She said, “Yes, madam. I did not understand all this when I joined work, but if you pay attention, you can see that you get paid just 1,200 rupees* more every month for more work and increased responsibilities.
It is not worth it to chase promotions when you have to take on increased responsibilities for such a lesser sum.”
I said, “That doesn’t stop people from chasing promotions.”
She said, “Ah, madam. That is a trap. The status you get from such promotions is only a trap. The status is worth nothing in real terms. You can’t get off that treadmill once you get into the trap of power and status. You can neither stop nor get off; you must keep running, get exhausted and die on it.”
Intrigued by her perspective, I asked her, “Why haven’t you left this job and gone to private banks where you get paid more?”
She said, “Madam, I have a 9 to 5 job here. I like learning things. Now, I am learning guitar and violin. This job gives me the time to learn new things. I can do my work in the bank with ease, so there is no stress. When I finish work, I have the mental bandwidth to learn whatever I wish to. This is ideal.”
“I will do this for a while, and when I want to, I will look for a job outside with my skills and experience in retail banking. Right now, I am content.”
The conversation with V was refreshing. There is a deeply entrenched notion (at least where I come from) that you have to make money while you are young and when you can, and all pursuits in life can wait until you are “settled”.
V has seen the promotion and increment game for what it is and decided not to play it.
I’ve known other people in her place look at their peers and think, “I am better than them; I should be somewhere else with my potential and ability.” or “I should be earning 2x more than what I am being paid. That idiot in college, who was a dunderhead, is now a CEO, whereas I am still behind my next managerial promotion.”
The sense of “not having enough” or “not being enough” and looking for promotions, increments, or possessions to fill that incompleteness is like trying to fill a hole in the ground by digging another hole and taking the earth to fill this hole. You are left with another hole, and you keep digging other holes to fill the ones you have created.
By then, the “locker key person” arrived in a mad rush, and she opened the locker for me. I bid bye to V, who then patiently engaged another customer who didn’t have his account number and wanted a statement.
What are the games you have stopped playing? What are the holes you have stopped digging yourself into?
đź’ŚSiri
P.S. I am back from my three-day silent retreat. It was a transformative experience, and I hope to integrate the insights and wisdom I gained during the retreat into my daily life.
And, If you are feeling stuck in your career right now and would like to figure a way forward, I invite you to book a 45 minute, “no-obligation” discovery session with me. If you know a friend who could use this free session, please forward them this email and link!
*For context, Rs.1,200 comes to $15 every month, and the per capita income in India is $2,100 per year.
