The 3Rs to Enhance Your Professional Relationships
In the fitness world, it’s often said, ‘You can’t outrun a bad diet.’ But let’s not forget, ‘You can’t outeat a sedentary lifestyle.’
Just as health requires a balance of diet and activity, professional relationships hinge on the balance between expectations and reality.
In the previous edition, I mentioned we would examine how we can implement systems to ensure you have a good working relationship with your manager and team and are in a position to achieve your work goals.
I’d like to start by saying that the systems work only if the people involved want to make them work. The two key players in this relationship are your manager and you. If your manager is unwilling to collaborate, doesn’t treat you well, doesn’t have your back or actively sabotages you, no system will fix that relationship.
That said, even with a difficult manager, having these systems in place ensures three things.
You take the lead in offering a way to work better with your manager.
You provide the means for timely feedback.
You can use these systems to assess your performance effectively, reducing the need for external assessments.
Now, let’s dive into the 3Rs you can implement either as a team member with your manager or as a manager with your team.
Regular 1:1s
Reflection
Record Keeping
Regular 1:1s
Imagine having two types of bosses: one who works closely with you on projects and another who has no visibility of your work. In a functional matrix setup, you might report to both. Some roles may lack a formal reporting structure but involve senior stakeholders or individuals who can provide direct feedback on your work.
Agree on a time that works for you and the other person, and schedule recurring meetings in your calendars. Typically, I would schedule weekly meetings with a closely involved manager and fortnightly with bosses who prefer to give you autonomy.
As a team member, don’t skip these meetings (no matter how friendly you and your boss maybe). As a manager, it is even more crucial. If you need to reschedule, do so for a time slot sooner rather than later.
Regular 1:1s offer predictability for both the manager and team members. If there is something important but not urgent, this is the space where this conversation can be had.
As a manager, let your team members set the pace, tone, and agenda for the meeting. How they run this meeting says a lot about them, so you will get a sense of how this behaviour could manifest in their work meetings.
As a team member, have a clear agenda in place. Ask your manager what they want to cover in the meeting as a standing item and include it in the agenda. Leave room for an open discussion.
Reflection on Goals
If your goals are set at the beginning of the year, great! If not, use last year’s goals until new ones are established. In many large organisations, goals are often finalised mid-year, so having a guide rail helps maintain focus.
Agree on goals with your manager or team member. Every month, reflect on the goals and progress. When you reflect, ask yourself these four questions:
- How are you tracking against the hard metrics? Overshooting, under target or on target?
- How do you feel about your work so far? Satisfied/Dissatisfied/Neutral?
- What three things have gone well in the process?
- What three changes would you like to make for the next month?
Record Keeping
Feedback in the corporate world is often poorly given. It is rare to receive feedback that is reflective, respectful and grounded in reality. Most feedback is just opinions without a holistic view of the behaviour and performance of the person.
The prerequisite for constructive feedback is record keeping. If you are a manager, record the “data point” of your team members’ behaviour and performance. Any data point about their behaviour or performance that stands out is unusual and worrying.
With a series of these data points, you are in a position to give feedback that is grounded in reality.
This approach is often used for ‘constructive criticism’ or ‘negative feedback’. When giving feedback on excellent performance and behaviours, one normally says, “Good” or “Well done.” These are very hollow, especially for “praise,” as adjectives don’t say anything, but specifics do. So, make sure both praise and feedback are grounded in reality.
As a team member, record these data points for your manager, too. This is useful for giving feedback, whether it is solicited or unsolicited, to your manager. This has come in handy many a time when my manager has said contradictory things to me, and having a record helped me to
- Not question my sanity, if he actually said something before.
- Take the data back to him and ask for clarification.
These 3Rs are not new to corporate veterans, but we often forget the hygiene factors that maintain healthy work relationships.
Reflect on your relationship with your team members and your manager.
See if any of these components are missing, and consider what you would like to improve. Then, what are the specific actions you would like to take?
💌Siri
P.S. If you manage a team and would like to request a series of articles (for free!) on a topic for your team, get in touch with me, and we can discuss this further.
